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The Cuyahoga Cuspidor Company
A modern marketing fable
Johnny Krackenstein is drifting down the hall, ducking into one office after another. He prides himself on “management by walking around,” and he walks around way more than he should, for my taste. I often wonder whether he ever does any “management by sitting his butt in a chair and working.”
Johnny owns Get Kracken Public Relations. He’s a “hiya, hiya” PR guy, and I’m not. But to be fair, Johnny is a hell of a rainmaker, which I’m also not. As he navigates the hall, he passes posters, photos, and tchotchkes he’s collected from our clients. Here’s a photo of a Power Pop bottle, and over there’s a poster of the Bonanza Burger Twins, Billy and Betty. “Thanks to Get Kracken, every kid in America wants to be Billy Bonanza or Betty Bonanza. Some even like the burgers,” Johnny brags to anyone who’ll listen.
I often wonder whether Johnny ever does any “management by sitting his butt in a chair and working.”
He’s built his firm into the nation’s fifth-largest public relations agency. No small feat, considering we’re headquartered in Cleveland, which isn’t exactly a media mecca. But as talented as he is, Johnny still needs people like me, who take satisfaction in a well-turned phrase.
Johnny sort of remembers me as the guy who led the team that made America salivate for…
